why does life have to suck so bad it is like a horor storie that came true or something some days i feel like life couldn't get any worse but then when i least expect it guess what something else happens and everyone blames me for it and i wasnt even there or didnt even know what happened but have you ever felt like everyone was after you and only you they just never quit that is how i feel everyone every minute of every day is always at my throught and i cant do anything about it and especially when you live in a small town and all there is is drama there is so much we could start a new drama club and i am not joking the town is so little ther is nothing to do but drive around a stupid square on the weekends wow! like that is any fun when you dont have a lot of friends to be with you, or even when you are out having fun then you have people come up to you and say stuff about you like bad names man thats not cool at all it really sucks or even when you are a big person and they always make fun of you for it thats not cool either so if you are one of these peoples out there and this is how you feel about life write about it and if your not and you read this think about what i said because it could happen to you one day you never know and it sucks when the tables turn on you trust me i know from experiance so take my word and just quit while you still have friends trust me because in the end you wont have any

i have been single for a long time and i dont care anymore i like being single like my new saying is looking for mister right while haveing fun with all the wrong ones!!!! fun fun

i am so happy today we got out of school for spring break and i went to my grandmas so i could spend some time with her and then i am going to my dads house tomarrow i havent talked to him or seen him in over two months his birthday is sunday and i dont know but we got into it and that is why i havent seen or talked to him if it wasnt his birthday i probabley wouldnt even come over but i know i am mad at him but i still love him anyways i hope you have a great spring vaca love ya lots

have you ever stopped and thought about your life. how do you know if it is real or not or if it is a dream you could be in an accoma and this all could be a dream or  maybe our universe is apart of a  much bigger one and we don't know it but seriously how do we know these things like why is pink called pink or blue called blue. i think it may all ways be mystry but think aobut it

i can't stand my dad and my brother anymore my dad treats me like crap and i cant do anything about it and i wish i could just change it all why does he have to be like this he tells me to come over all of the time to spend time with him so i do and all he does is go out to the shop and work  on cars so i go out there to help him and he has carolins family out there or his friends and i just go in because i will get in their way i wouldnt want that so that is why i always have a friend come out there with me so i have someone to talk to and someone to hang out with. my dad hates me now because i gave him a letter last weekend and i told him how i felt i told him that he broke my heart and that one of the best things of his life was walking right out of it and i wouldnt be back. he told me he would never put me through what he did with joyce and i told him guess what you are doing it again and he doesnt care what am i suppose to do just sit back and ignore it all i tried that and i cant do it anymore. i also brought up you know how you told me at christmas that i wasnt your baby girl no more that carolins daughter crissia was and i would never be your baby girl ever again well guess what that hurt and i wouldnt ever want to be that again. i could care less if he was in my life right now or not all i need is my mother and my step dad mike. you know i told my dad that i was going to change my last name to santee well if anybody wants to know why it is because a last name is suppose to mean something and dowell doesnt mean anything to me at all anymore and mike santee is the best dad i could ever want he is good to me and my mother and my brothers i couldnt ask for a better father and i am glad he is in my life. so if you think i am crazy for doing this to my dad then tell me i would like to know what people think even though i might not listen to it because i have been listing to everyone else about my dad my hole life now it is my turn to step in and tell people what i think of him and what he has done to me.

 have you ever felt lost and dont know were to go and what to do anymore and it feels like every body is after you and wants you to leave and you have no where to go well that is how i feel maybe i should just leave and never come back maybe that will solve everything any do people do things like that or maybe i should just handle it all myself

why do people lie about things that isnt true does it make them feel good does it make them think they are in charge of you or something i hate it they say things that isnt true and it makes the other people it is about feel so mad or sad and it may cause there reputation go down the drain why do they do these things i dont think i can hand this little school and town any longer people just do things to make thems selfs feel good and it may hurt other people but they really dont care but they should because it may cause somebody to do something very harmful to thems selfs and then when they do it whoever is saying all of that stuff is going to maybe feel really bad for making them do all of that stuff that they did to themselfs so maybe before you go and say something that isnt true you should stop and relize what you might have that other person do to themselfs.

have you ever felt like all of your friends have abandon you but one has stayed well that is how i feel i am not trying to say anything bad about my friends or anything but echo has david sarah has my brother justin krystal has eric kelsey has keith and other people and i have lamanda and she is always there for me i am happy that echo and david and i are talking and friends again. and sarah wants to come over but the only reason she is comming over is because of my brother he is coming over to stay the night but when she has a reason to come and see me i find out that the reason why is that my brother is invalvedand i hate it she never comes over to spend time with me so i guess it is all good because when all of my other friends want to spend time with me they are going to be mad because i am going to blow them off for my best friend lamanda!!

you know i had this really awsome friend once and her name was echo and then she hooked up with my brother david and now they are soon to be married i am happy for them yes but they dont believe me and thats ok  but hey i guess thats love for you but friends should hve your back and have secrets with eachother and not let a guy come between you when you are that good of friends but she needs to step out of her little box of davids and relise what she has done to our friendship. but that will never happen so echo if you read this i know you will probably get mad at it but i am just telling the trueth and you need to relize that. and thanx for getting all of my other friends mad at me too. but even when davids gone or if he ever is i will still be there for you like a friend should be.

my dog inot well we found her this morning in the yard with frost on her and we took her to the doctor and he thinks she has been poisoned. i hope that she doesnt die. but any ways have a great weekend